i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
