Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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