I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
