wat bout pragnant strippers??
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
