My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
