You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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