Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
These tits shall not be calmed
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
