awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
