I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just had sex on a roof
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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