he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
