There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
