hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
