I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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