How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
