somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
