She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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