you're like a bully in the Christmas story
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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