Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
