These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
