i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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