This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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