this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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