I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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