I want to walk on stilts...naked
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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