my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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