she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
