Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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