I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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