where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
