I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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