I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
