how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
