I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
