new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
