I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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