I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
