Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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