I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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