ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
