Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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