its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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