either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
