Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
