the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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