I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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