Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
