That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
