So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
