I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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