I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
