he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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