dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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